Become the hero of your own adventure

If life were a movie, I would be an extra. That person no one ever talks about. The best friend of the heroine, the one to whom everything is entrusted, but who never speaks up.

The one who is so discreet that her presence, like her absence, goes unnoticed. The one who always gives up her place and steps off the sidewalk to let others pass. The one who is neither particularly pretty nor particularly bright. The one who always says yes, never no. The one who smiles discreetly while keeping to the walls. The one who, more than anything, dreams of becoming invisible...

And who already is without knowing it.

I never knew my multiplication tables. I've always had poor spelling. My memory only recorded emotions. I never accomplished any academic or athletic achievements. My studious attitude, to compensate for my poor memory, earned me the label of the class intellectual. I have never shown boldness or bravery.

Do you know the principle of paradoxical injunction? > How to react to it? Whatever one does, it is impossible to meet such a demand.

For someone who lacks self-confidence, being asked to assert themselves is a challenge more untenable than holding one's breath.

Yet, I have been asked this all my life.

Up to being reproached for not making an effort. Me, whose primary goal was to please others and satisfy them, what a paradox. What an injustice!

Then one day, I saw that everyone was afraid. All of them.

Of ridicule. Of failure. Of death.

But we do not all live with our fears in the same way.

Some suppress them, deny them, and forget about them. Others expose them for all to see, not knowing how to manage these weights attached to their ankles.

And still others recognize them, look them straight in the face, and make a little room for them at their side.

All those failures I thought I was accumulating, which I thought I was building my story on... were only a part of my narrative. Next to them, other pages were waiting to be filled, and some were already carrying small stones at the base of my personal edifice. Milestones for growth, prides, and moments of happiness, I had as many as anyone else.

I just didn't see them.

Dictating another's behavior is akin to trying to shape their personality. A personal change can only be voluntary and driven by someone who desires to change.

Once one has decided to change, truly decided, nothing can stop us.

I have always seen myself as a secondary role, an extra, unable to imagine one day being the heroine of my own life. And realizing the clear-cut path ahead of me did not interest me. That story didn't fit me.

The only story that fits me is the one I will write by my own will.

Undoubtedly my first trip abroad, for a six-month internship in Canada. I did not doubt for a single second. Neither its legitimacy nor my ability to realize this dream.

I planned and acted to achieve my goal. Working alongside my studies on weekends and during breaks. Not going on vacations, to save money and work. Seeking contacts to arrange this internship... Alone, I brought this project to fruition.

It didn't feel heavy or difficult. It was natural. Not a sacrifice. A choice. My family didn't have the money to fund such an experience. I found a way because I wanted it.

It's probably the first time I became the heroine of my own life.

Since then, I continue to make my choices.

Some have cost me dearly. Some have been difficult. Dilemmas or obvious choices, all have helped me move forward to become the person I am today. Now, my mind is more filled with projects than regrets, hopes more than doubts.

Since then, I travel, I discover the world, and I give myself the opportunity to do so.

No, my only luck is having been able to open my eyes and understand that my life was waiting for me.

I recall a scene from the movie The Love of Gold, where Alfonz, a secondary character, says:

And this is how we should all see ourselves. Not as extras in an overcrowded world, but as the main characters of an adventure where we are the heroes.

So this article is for everyone who doesn't think they are strong enough. For all those who doubt themselves. Who think there will always be someone more talented, intelligent, beautiful, educated, lucky... Who will come and take their place.

It is up to us to be that person we dream of being. Up to us to give ourselves our chance. Up to us to be the architects of our own happiness...

Up to us to become the heroes of our own lives!

To go further:

Travel Therapy When I grow up, I will be... Why travel makes you happy? First trip: the fear of launching (response to a reader) The 5 lessons I learned from my first trip What long-term travel has brought me Our special file on the comfort zone:

Leave your comfort zone Comfort zone: what we often forget!

And for inspiration from other travelers: Piotr from the blog Bien Voyager Why you should travel alone and now