My First Big Trip

6 years. I waited 6 years for this first big trip. The adventure, my backpack, my companion, and I. But those six years of waiting were not a smooth journey... Far from it!

Before finishing high school, I dreamed of spending a year in South America. No specific destination or itinerary. Just the desire to discover this continent that called me and to get involved in a humanitarian project.

But reason, in the person of my mother, had the final word:

How can you hope to help people without any qualifications? What could you do for them? It's better to keep going and enroll in college. You can figure it out later.

And that's what I did.

Studying first. I didn't even question myself:

What will I do with my life?

But...

What will I study in college?

A common dilemma at that age... but that's not the debate here.

During my 5 years of study, I never lost sight of my project. I didn't talk about it either. It was obvious: 5 years, then departure.

In my second year, I started working on weekends and during breaks to save money for this project.

And during my fourth year of studies, I decided to treat myself to the experience of an internship abroad. A project I organized by myself, without help from the university or my parents, who couldn't support me financially in this endeavor. With a portion of my savings, I left for just over 5 months in Canada (from January to the end of June).

A wonderful experience that allowed for many firsts:

First plane, first time outside of Europe, first experience of life away from my family, first experience of sharing an apartment, first taste of independence...

But also, first poutine, first ride in a sled pulled by dogs, first time shoveling snow in front of my door to get out...

A mini-expatriation that taught me to love (no, adore) winter and snow!

Quebec will always hold a special place in my heart as a second home.

At the end of this first adventure, my departure for Latin America and the end of my university journey was approaching... and the excitement grew!

I took the opportunity during those months in Canada to take my first Spanish class (with vocabulary unique to Latin America that would serve me well!) and upon my return, I enrolled in a Spanish course to continue my learning of this beautiful language that is so useful on the American continents!

But life is never linear. Things rarely go as planned. Surprises, both good and bad, come to spice up the journey.

François entered my life 10 days before my departure for Canada, turning everything upside down! My project for Canada, despite all the difficulties related to separation, just like our long-distance relationship, held strong. We were sure (unlike those around us) of ourselves and never doubted that our relationship would last despite the distance.

And my project for Latin America thrilled him... even if he wanted to experience this adventure on a sailboat, not in backpacker mode!

My second unexpected situation was clearly less charming. A poison slowly and insidiously creeping into my father's body.

He, who had never been sick, never missed a day of work, suddenly found himself hospitalized for medical exams due to back pain paralyzing him with agony. Pneumonia? No. Cancer. Lung cancer, with metastases causing the back pains.

Diagnosed in January, my father (and the whole family) would face a long descent into hell over 6 months. Pain. Fatigue. Hopes and despairs. Helplessness.

September 2008. Defense of my thesis (the day of my birthday). Three days later, I graduated, marking the end of 5 years of study. And three days after that, my father passed away. Monday, September 8, 2008.

September 2008. The moment I waited for 6 years: my departure... A moment forever marked by grief and sadness.

Leave? How? Why?

Nothing made sense to me anymore.

And I didn't want this trip to be an escape. Leaving under these circumstances was unthinkable.

As the oldest in the family, the only one who had finished their studies and was free of obligations, I stayed home to support my mother and my siblings. I took a part-time job as a salesperson to bring in a little money and continued to just get by. A day-to-day life filled with routines and work.

Then, little by little, I stopped wearing black. I stopped living as if the calendar only had one page. And I found, in a corner of my mind, my project to travel.

I was scared. Not of leaving. But of abandoning them. I asked the most painful question I ever had to pose. Holding my breath and looking her straight in the eyes:

Mom, my travel project is waiting for me. I want to leave in January. But... do you want me to stay?

I felt a moral obligation to ask her. And I hoped with all my heart that she would free me from any feelings of guilt and let me go... And that's what she did.

What a relief it was to be able to breathe again, to dream... to live.

So in January 2009, we set off, just the two of us, for our first trip through South America, without an itinerary or return date. Our only plan:

When we run out of money, we go home!

And that's exactly what we did: we returned with exactly $5 left in our pockets!

We lived six wonderful months in South America, passing through:

To wait, to anticipate. That's not easy. A thousand and one things can happen between the moment you decide on a project and its realization. Good things, but also catastrophes. Storms that shake everything and push dreams to the back burner... At least for a moment.

To dream is to stay alive. And my dream came true.

It wasn't always simple or easy before leaving. In every respect. And yet, we did it.

That's what I wanted to share with you.

So, whatever obstacles hold you back, the fears that block you, the doubts that gnaw at you... don't lose hope. Everything (or a lot) is possible if you stay on course and give yourself the means to fulfill your dreams.

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