Traveling to Sri Lanka as a Woman: My Impressions

Our month-long journey in Sri Lanka was a very unique experience. Undoubtedly because we are not used to traveling in Asia. Surely also because it is a country that is still not very touristy. And probably also because I am a woman...

Here's a look back at my experiences, both good and bad, and my life as a traveler in Sri Lanka.

While I have had some wonderful travel experiences, I am still a novice on the Asian continent. Cambodia was my major introduction, and here I am a year later, in Sri Lanka. Perhaps not one of the first countries you visit in Asia, but we rarely follow an established plan during our journeys around the world, and an opportunity arose for us after winning the Trophy at the 2015 Travel Bloggers' Fair.

Sri Lanka greets us with stifling humidity, an undecipherable script, and an unknown language. You are guaranteed to feel out of place! We try to find our bearings in this country that we know next to nothing about, and we amuse ourselves with certain details, both expected and unexpected, of the Sri Lankan landscape:

But beyond these little impressions, human contact is one of the most important things to me, the main color that will determine the shade and tone of my canvas. And this contact was not always easy...

Before we begin, a small clarification is necessary: my return as a traveler is absolutely subjective (otherwise it wouldn't be impressions, but facts).

So what is my feeling?

There is a big paradox in the perception I had as a tourist regarding my well-being and safety.

On one hand, I observe people leaving their bags unattended on trains, getting off onto the platform, and coming back a few minutes later without any issue. One might think that crime and theft must be practically nonexistent. Reassuring.

But alongside that, we are constantly approached. Always for the same reason: our wallet. While direct begging is rare (a few beggars and children who ask in sight of tourists), the harassment for > and > tourists is almost incessant.

Note: Despite our Western representations and this country's tumultuous history, there is no risk in traveling here, whether on organized tours or as independent travelers (including in the northern part of the island that is often viewed as less safe, due to the past connected to this region).

As soon as you step out of your accommodation, you have to expect to be approached by strangers in the street.

Worse than an army of capricious 5-year-old children in a supermarket, many Sri Lankans literally threw themselves at us to stop us and ask for something. Some spotted us from afar, crossing intersections to come up to us; others slowed down their car or tuk-tuk to make us an offer and continued to roll alongside us for 3 minutes, regardless of how many refusals we gave them.

Let's be honest: it's exhausting!

While at the beginning of the day we can laugh about it, imitate the gestures of attention from drivers, respond kindly with a smile while playing the game of counting how many times we are approached over a few hundred meters... By the end of the day, exhausted from the humid heat, we just don't want to play anymore. We don't want to respond anymore. We don't want to fight.

This constant harassment allowed François to understand > what some women experience with street harassment and how unbearable it can be.

Can we talk about harassment when it is not the same person repeatedly asking, but several who come in succession? I don't know. Perhaps we need to find a new term for this...

Note: This phenomenon of harassment is mostly present in cities, less so in villages and rural areas.

Never have we experienced so many attempts at scams while traveling (some of which were successful) as in Sri Lanka! Never!

It became just unbelievable. Of course, the attempts by our > who advise us in the street were easy to spot and thwart. But alongside that, we faced many other scam techniques, at locations or from people we would never have suspected for a second could be dishonest.

The most striking example is the scam we experienced at the entrance of the Polonnaruwa museum. The woman at the counter to whom we were buying our two tickets managed, through a sleight of hand in her drawer (while counting tickets with the other hand on the counter, without addressing us a look or a word), to swap one of the two 5000 notes we handed her for a 1000 note. François, though confident, was so surprised by the woman's assertion that he was short of cash and that we had not been given the right note, that he ended up handing her another note to make up the difference. In hindsight, checking the money he had left in his pocket, he had no doubt: she had indeed swapped our notes and stole a total of 4000 rupees (equivalent to €27) from us.

And all this in an official archaeological site of the country! We probably reacted poorly by not reacting... But we found it so hard to believe what we had just experienced that we were left dumbfounded.

And examples are plentiful: wrong change returned on a bus, erroneous exchange rates in a shop, incorrectly stated taxes in a hotel, our forgetten change by a street vendor on a train, a tuk-tuk driver trying to change his price mid-ride because the street is steep...

I don't want to alarm you unnecessarily or make you think that everyone is out to steal from tourists in Sri Lanka. Of course not. But the attempts are numerous (we experienced almost daily throughout our stay). One must remain vigilant: a feeling of > unpleasantness that we had never experienced at this intensity in any of our previous travels.

I do not travel alone: I am always with François by my side. Therefore, this will not be a solo traveler's account that I will share. And, a small additional clarification, my experience is that of a white blonde woman (which can significantly influence others' perceptions).

But despite everything, I wanted to share my feelings as a female traveler, something I have never felt the need to do for any other country until now.

Never before have I felt such a significant difference in treatment between men and women. In the way people behave towards François compared to me. And in how men or women interact with me.

The differences are so pronounced that they have led me to ask many questions about the place of women in Sinhalese culture and in the world, questions with which I will leave without real answers.

There are many examples, some based on subtle details and feelings on which it is sometimes difficult to put words. Here, I talk about differences in treatment without attaching moral value, right or wrong.

For example, I recall touching farewells with the manager of the guesthouse where we stayed in Sigiriya. The elderly man, wanting to thank us for choosing his home, greeted us several times then, to our surprise, hugged François three times (endlessly for François who is not used to such physical displays!). Then the man turned to me, saluted me as well, and extended his hand with a smile.

So a difference in treatment, but culturally coherent with their customs. Men and women do not show affection in public. They do not hold hands, except between men and between women. During festivals, men dance on one side and women on the other. In train stations, there are separate waiting rooms for each sex (and one for priests). In buses, women cannot sit next to monks...

In short, these gender treatment differences are strongly marked in Sri Lanka, so it is logical that Sinhalese people interact differently with François and with me.

When I travel, I like to look around me: the landscapes, the animals, but also (and especially) the people. I imagine the lives they lead, see how they dress, move, eat, communicate, laugh... And I love to observe their faces and particularly their eyes: don't we say that the eyes are the windows to the soul?

And as a female traveler, I felt a significant difference in my contact with Sinhalese people, even just by walking past them and giving them a smile, depending on whether I was facing a man, a woman, or a child.

Few men returned my smile on the street. Many looked at me with a curiosity tinged with a sense of strangeness: >.

But more disturbing than that, some men looked at me as if they had the power to undress me with their gaze. Very intrusive. Degrading. A look that nothing stops, neither my embarrassed expression nor my desire to cut off contact and extract myself from their field of vision. Some of these men do not hesitate to follow me down the street, passing several times to cross my path, or even calling out to me from their cars while laughing and making gestures. Others on buses enjoy trying to take pictures of me from above my head to create a cleavage effect.

Full of doubts, I questioned myself. What image of myself was I projecting? What message was I sending them despite myself? My outfit was quite appropriate (shoulders and legs covered, no cleavage).

I wanted to question other female travelers to see what their feelings were. It turns out that I am far from the only one who has experienced this kind of thing (or worse). They all spoke of harassment, lingering looks from men... I also stumbled upon an article from a blogger traveler (Tongs and Sri Lanka) who laments the evolving situation and even advises against women traveling to this country.

In stark contrast to my experience with certain men in Sri Lanka, my relationship with women has been a great comfort during this trip!

All (or almost all) responded to my gaze with a kind look and to my smile with an even warmer one. In their eyes, I read affection, gentleness, amusement, and kindness.

I don't have or have taken few photos of these smiling looks and welcoming smiles. I engraved them in my mind and in my heart as they brought me so much joy. I wanted no camera to get in the way of our glances, interrupting these fleeting exchanges. I preferred to live these little moments of happiness, simply.

This travel experience in Sri Lanka made me feel, for the first time, part of the community of women: a discreet community, but present for all and supportive of all, regardless of skin color and origins.

The relationship with children is yet another world in Sri Lanka. Children are often true free spirits, frolicking joyfully, exploring their environment...

And if their gaze falls upon curiosity, such as strangers, they take pleasure in having a new experience with them: greeting them, smiling at them, waving to them. Greetings become a game and their laughter is quickly contagious. What a lovely breath of fresh air!

You will understand, my impressions of this trip to Sri Lanka are numerous and extreme. Some wonderful, some... and some (really) less good, even horrible. Sensitive to human exchanges, we encountered some disappointments, but also very beautiful moments.

Would I discourage you from going? No! This is just one perspective among many; the best way to form an opinion is still and always to go and see for yourself.

And you, have you ever traveled to Sri Lanka? What were your impressions?

To go further:

Can one not like it? Sri Lanka: hiking in the tea plantations Scams while traveling: how to avoid... or overcome them?