I'm Anxious Before Departure! (Response to a Reader)

The fear of going on your first trip is very common! I receive many messages, like messages in a bottle, sent by travelers filled with doubts. Sometimes, just when everything is ready, when you've set everything up to go and all that's left is to board the plane, an uncontrollable anxiety springs up from the depths of your gut. Why? What should you do: leave or cancel? How to overcome this phase?

Following the numerous new messages I've received, I've decided to publish an article on the topic by sharing Julie's questions (a fictional name to ensure anonymity; your emails and messages are and will always remain between you and me).

Hello Amandine!

I'm sending you this message because it's been a while since I've been following your blog and my questions are growing.

I'm planning to go to New Zealand with a Working Holiday Visa (WHV) this January, a decision I made last year when I finished my studies and have been preparing since around July. I had to return to my parents, work, save money to go. Now I've prepared everything, organized it all, even if there are still a few small things left, but I've managed to find everything I need.

I'm leaving on the 12th, and I'm starting to realize and have serious anxiety attacks that make me question everything, and especially that make me feel like I'm going to be unable to carry out this project that I've had for so long, and that I chose because it's the country I'm most excited about, I'm a fan of nature, and there are so many things I want to see there. However, the anxiety attacks are so strong that they make me feel physically incapable of going, it's as if I feel like I'm going to die from going there. Basically, it's like I want to sabotage my desires. I've traveled in the past every summer practically, but with my family and for a maximum period of 2 months as a tourist, so it's different.

It's very personal what I'm sharing, but I would just like perhaps, if there aren't solutions, to get some advice that might help me from you.

I'm trying not to resist this fear and anxiety, to let them out when they're there rather than suppressing them, because I know that this project can bring me so much, but the closer the date gets, the more I wonder if I'm going to be able to do it.

I hope we can chat,

Julie

Hello Julie,

Thank you so much for your message, and for trusting me to share your anxieties with me. I receive many messages like bottles in the sea: you are absolutely not alone in panicking before a big departure (if that reassures you)!

First of all, I would like to congratulate you: for this big decision you've made, for having done everything to set it up, and for adjusting your life choices to align with your goals! Many people dream of leaving without ever taking the effort to implement things to realize their dream: returning to live with their parents, saving money, living more simply...

Traveling alone is a unique experience, that's for sure. But you can trust yourself and also rely on your personal skills, your past travel experiences, as well as your daily skills, those that have allowed you to find a job, organize your life to save money... You seem to be full of resources!

Taking stock and welcoming your emotions is the first step in managing anxiety. Emotions are not negative in themselves: they are bright signals on our inner dashboard that indicate to us that something is wrong and/or that they are pulling us out of our routine. Because there's no denying it, humans love their routine! It's so reassuring, it also allows us to know that there is no danger - it's part of evolution to repeat the behaviors that have kept us alive until now!

So, there's no need to panic about having negative emotions. The best thing to do at that moment is not to block, but to relax and listen to yourself. Also release the physical tensions, because body and mind communicate, for better or for worse: if you start having negative ideas, your body will tense up, you'll find it hard to breathe, your dark thoughts and worst-case scenarios will worsen... Vicious circle! Whereas if you relax, your mind can send you warning signals, but at least those won't be excessively amplified by your body. You'll then be more grounded to welcome this anxiety crisis, the emotions, and the ideas behind it.

Next, what I can advise you is to limit things: divide and conquer! Instead of visualizing the magnitude of the trip (a year or more), visualize the first days: for example, think about how you will reach your first accommodation from the airport. I'm not a very organized traveler, but for the first night, I like to know that I will have a bed to recover from a long flight, and that I won't struggle to reach that bed! So, book a first accommodation, research in advance how to get there (even if it means asking for information and/or organizing the transfer when booking the accommodation).

Another point that can help: have a contact. You feel less in unknown and lonely territory when you know someone, even virtually, even if it's never to meet them... But having a name and the possibility to contact them is very reassuring. A good plan is to organize a meeting for the day after your arrival, to get good advice from a local or a more experienced traveler, and directly meet people, to feel immersed.

Traveler communities have this wonderful aspect that there's always someone somewhere! Don't hesitate to look on forums or social networks and post in a travel group (a travel group and/or a group specifically dedicated to New Zealand and/or the WHV - PVT).

That's a bit of the advice that comes to my mind. Of course, I'm not in your head, and I can't make decisions for you. But from experience (lived and heard from other travelers), don't let these very normal emotions before departure ruin your dream and all the efforts you've made to realize it. I sense that you have what it takes to succeed!

As you might have read on the blog, I'm trained as a psychologist and, following these many messages received via the blog, I have also trained in life coaching. I receive many messages like yours.

I offer to accompany those who wish for support during moments of transition and also in pursuing their goals. Like a mountain guide, I have tools to accompany the journey and arrive safely: I don't walk in place of the traveler, but alongside them.

If you are interested, feel free to reach out so we can discuss it further. For example, we could work on managing anxiety, both from a physical body perspective and a mental psychological perspective. I could also be a bridge for you to communicate your anxieties (which can be very delicate with loved ones, who might be out of sync, not always understand and/or amplify those anxieties by adding their fears regarding departure and separation) and connect before departure and upon your arrival; sometimes just writing helps to gain perspective.

I also invite you to check out the blog articles in the category > and > on the site (via the top menu >), as some subjects might resonate with you. I'm particularly thinking of these four articles:

I wish you a wonderful trip, Looking forward to hearing from you,

Amandine

Reading Julie's response to my email was a pleasure: full of new positive energy and concrete actions to face her anxieties! So I can't help but want to share it with you.

Here are five pieces of advice that can be inferred from my response to Julie to react to anxiety before a departure.

They are not negative in themselves; they are signals to analyze.

The body and mind influence and reinforce each other.

Take the time to sit down and calmly analyze the source of anxiety as a challenge to overcome and break it down into concrete sub-goals. For example:

Connect with people who have already experienced a similar situation (for example, having traveled to the country you plan to visit) and/or people currently on site who could serve as resources: in terms of information and, simply, social connection (for example, plan to meet up the day after your arrival for a drink together).

To find these connections, family networks, friends, and the internet (blogs, social networks, travelers' Facebook groups...) are great resources.

And the last concrete piece of advice: if necessary, consider seeking help to manage emotions, transition, and project realization. Loved ones may sometimes be out of sync with the traveler's experience and/or may tend to add their fears to those already experienced by the traveler.

Having support from someone trained in assistance (psychologist, coach...) who has traveling experience can be helpful and greatly reduce anxieties and stress related to departure and the first adaptations on site.

As a life coach and psychologist, I offer to accompany travelers during times of transition and in achieving their objectives. If you wish to discuss it, do not hesitate to contact me via the contact form on the blog.

I hope this article will be useful for travelers feeling strong emotions before a big departure and will help them stay on course and take that leap! Because no, anxiety before a departure is not rare, it can happen to everyone, including seasoned travelers, and no, it's not a given: there are ways to overcome this delicate stage and to fully live your travel dream!

If you have personal experiences like Julie's or other tips to share for managing anxieties before (or during) a trip, please share them in the comments!

And if there are other related topics you would like me to explore on the blog, let me know! What do you need? What are your questions regarding emotions, doubts, anxieties... in short, the more challenging aspects of travel?

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